What’s next?

We met with a financial planner last week who put the questions to us – where do we see ourselves in 5, 10 and 20 years? From a financial perspective we were able to rattle off a plan… but from a personal perspective I was stumped.

This is a strange feeling for me.  I will admit I may have some control issues (ok, if  you were to ask Scott he will say I have a LOT of control issues), and in the past I have always needed to have a plan – whether it be in regards to career, health, financial or personal goals.  Generally I have been able to achieve most of these goals – albeit some have taken longer than others, and have taken a greater toll on me personally than expected.

To be honest, I’m exhausted…  Our five year journey to start a family has been tough.  Now that we have ‘achieved’ this (hmm, there is probably a better word than this?), we haven’t really thought about ‘what’s next’??? In fact, does there have to be a what’s next?  It seems as though we are expected to have plan in place – we are asked if/when we will have another baby (seriously I was asked this by a midwife when Aiden was less than 24hrs old and in NICU), when am I going back to work, what school are the boys going to, when are we going to toilet train Liam, when are we planning a trip to visit family…. and the list goes on!

It seems to be a constant question throughout life – when you start a relationship it’s’when are you moving in together’? Once you are living together – ‘When are you getting engaged’…. ‘When are you getting married? When are you having kids? When are you having another baby??  and so it goes on.

Is it a ‘bad’ thing to just stop and enjoy life for a little while without having a plan in place for our next life goal?

I’m making the decision to enjoy our family and life right now.  Instead of worrying myself about what I should or could be doing, or what I need to do next, I am going to give myself some ‘time off’ and LIVE life for awhile.

What do you think, do we always need to have a plan?

Let's stop and enjoy the view

Let’s stop and enjoy the view

Linking up with the Essentially Jess for IBOT

My Happy Place

Sometimes just thinking about your ‘happy place’ isn’t enough – you need to take action and go there.  This week I’ve felt myself getting frustrated quite a few times, and my usual technique of thinking about what makes me happy has just not cut it – mainly when I’ve been dealing with a tired cranky toddler who refuses to sleep…  oh yes, it’s been fun times at our house this week!

Although I’ve felt selfish and guilty for doing a few of these things (especially when I was upstairs in the bath and could hear both the boys crying with Scott) – they have certainly helped turn my mood around quickly and bring me back to a better place where I appreciate what I have and the challenges associated with it.

This week I’ve gone to my happy place when:

* Sitting down with Aiden for smiles and giggles – this always perks me up!

* Going to the gym for time by myself – I always feel so energised afterwards

* Treating myself to a bubble bath last night – it was bliss!

* Baking (what a surprise!)

* Catching up with friends for Coffee (another huge surprise there)

* Going on ‘dates’ with just Aiden… we have lots of smiles and giggles

What do you do when you need to go to your happy place?

This ALWAYS makes me happy!

This ALWAYS makes me happy!

Keeping it in perspective

It’s been a chaotic morning.  We headed out to meet a good friend for a catch up and both the boys decided not to co-operate (the signs it was going to be a crazy day were there when we were getting ready to leave).  Aiden was easy to sort out: feed, wrap up and he will drift off to sleep.  Liam on the other hand……  In all fairness, the chocolate fondue platter my friend and I were sharing was VERY tempting for a toddler, however I was hopeful the babycino I had bought for him, and his trucks and books would keep him distracted….  this was not the case.  We had a lot of crying, cuddling and chocolate ended up everywhere – the plans for our peaceful morning went out the window.

Too tempting for a toddler!

Too tempting for a toddler!

Thankfully this is not the norm for us when we go out – if it was I don’t think I would take the boys anywhere!  I’m still not sure what the cause of this mornings crankiness was, however they both slept for 3 hours when we got home and I’m not complaining!!

It got me thinking how 12 months ago, if I had been in the same situation I would have freaked out, and probably left as quickly as I could and gone straight home – possibly in tears!  Now with the two boys and a bit more experience with this whole ‘mothering thing’ whilst slightly embarrassed that I spent the majority of the time consoling Liam, rather than talking to my friend, I’ve bounced back pretty quickly (and the iced latte I bought on the way home helped!)

I know it was only yesterday that I listed the things I am grateful for, however after this morning I’m doing it again to keep things in perspective!!

* I have two healthy (and normally happy boys) that I get to spend all day with

* We still got outside and to enjoy the beautiful sunshine

* I am blessed to have wonderful, understanding friends!

* Both boys slept for three hours when we got home

* I’m now watching Liam lining up all of his cars to show Aiden

* Did I mention I got an iced latte on the way home? Coffee fixes everything!

What do you do to unwind after a crazy day?

 

He is here!

When I woke at 3am Thursday morning I immediately saw a message from my sister asking if I was awake – fast forward several text messages and a phone call later – and we had determined she was in labour.  After a long day of updates, a quick trip to the hospital to drop off a phone charger (because how could she not be without her phone during this big occasion!), handsome little Flynn arrived early in the evening, weighing a health 3.16kg and just shy of 38 weeks gestation.

I feel incredibly blessed that I was able to visit with both little Flynn and my sister just a couple of hours after he was born.  I also reminded again how incredibly lucky we are to live in a country where such excellent health care is available. I am also incredibly happy that I was able to introduce my two happy and healthy boys to their special cousin this morning and I cannot wait to enjoy watching them all grow up together xx

Our boys meeting for the first time xxx

Our boys meeting for the first time xxx

Our two baby boys - just 18 weeks apart x

Our two baby boys – just 18 weeks apart x

The best part of baking

Apart from the finished product, one of the best things about baking is eating the leftover mixture.  When we were kids, my sister and I would always argue who was going to lick the bowl/beaters and who got more than the other (actually we still do!)  Looking through the photos I took yesterday when we made Raspberry Spiked Brownies – I think we will have to start having the same argument with Liam!  Needless to say, he wasn’t very hungry at dinner time!

 

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My 3/4 Year Resolutions

There are just 14 weeks left until the end of 2013…. FOURTEEN WEEKS!  That’s just over a quarter of the year left to go and only 13 weeks until Christmas (you can thank me later for that reminder).

Rather than waiting for the new year to make resolutions, I’ve decided to make a few promises to myself – starting now.

  • Stop and enjoy the moment. Whether it be playing with the boys, reading stories or just having a quiet coffee whilst they are both asleep, rather than thinking about what I need to do next, or worrying about the mess being made/what we should be doing instead I am going to just STOP and enjoy as I will never have this time back.
  • Having time to myself regularly is non negotiable.  Since I have an abundance of babysitters whilst we are visiting, it has made me realise even just getting out by myself for 45 minutes to go for a walk in the mornings makes me happier and more relaxed, which in turn makes me a better Mum.  A quick catch up with a friend for an hour without the boys reminds me that I can have a conversation which doesn’t revolve around the kids.
  • Make the most of everyday.  We have been lucky enough to have some gorgeous weather the past few days. Instead of sitting around, I’ve been making an effort to get out and about, whether it be down to the park for a play or a day trip. We are having new experiences and creating new memories
  • Take more photos of myself with the boys. Each week I vow to have one photo of myself with either both or one of the boys.

 

What are you going to do to see out 2013 on a high?

 

Me time...

Enjoying some ‘me’ time…