Self Confidence

Yesterday’s photo a day prompt was mirror, and all day I was thinking about what kind of shot I could take – preferably one that doesn’t have me in it! You see the thing is I’m not super happy with the way I look at the moment.  I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with my body shape/size, and long ago I accepted that I am one of those people who has to watch what they eat and exercise regularly to maintain a ‘healthy’ weight.  I’ve also come to terms  with the fact that I’m also not someone whose weight just ‘falls off’ while they breast feed, in fact for me it is the opposite…. damn you hormones!

The thing is that I enjoy exercising, and I feel great about myself whilst I’m doing it, and afterwards as well… it’s just getting and perhaps more importantly keeping the motivation to do it.  I’ve recently switched to a gym that is much closer to home and has more ‘friendly’ class times and this seems to be helping.

I know that I am lacking a bit of self confidence. We can put so much pressure on ourselves to live up to unrealistic expectations (my due date was around the same as Princess Kate & Kim Kardashian and look at them now….), that we unfairingly (that is so a word!) compare ourselves to others.

A few weeks ago I spent a few self indulgent hours at the hairdresser, and whilst reading the November issue of Marie Claire I came across the article ‘Instant Confidence’. It outlined some simple strategies which researchers believe will improve your self belief/self confidence and let’s be honest, we could all do with a bit more self belief I think.

* Coffee!!!  YAY!!  I’m happy to go along with any research that supports drinking coffee!  Admittedly, I do really enjoy my early morning coffee before the chaos of the day starts, and I do miss it when I skip it (I’m so not addicted).

* Sit up straight – hmmm.. I do agree, I’m trying to sit up as straight as I can now and admittedly I feel a bit more important!!

* Change your hair colour – sorted, appointment in two weeks!

* Clean out your wallet- with the theory being by managing this everyday area of your life, it will help you feel more in control in other aspects of your life. I took this challenge and also included cleaning out my handbag.  Considering I found sultanas that I believe started off as grapes in a container down the bottom of my bag, I’m feeling much more in control!

* Exercise!  Well this one is a bit of a no brainer, and I totally agree with it.  The research they quote is exercising for at lease 20 minutes at the gym will improve your mood for up to 12 hours.  I totally agree with this, I feel so much better about myself (and others!!) after exercising.

I know that I am being tough on myself, and realistically I know that I probably won’t ever be completely happy with the way I look.  It seems as though we are hardwired to always have one aspect of ourselves that we think needs improvement.

In the meantime, I’m trying to work on improving my self confidence and be proud of the way I look – this body of mine has spent the majority of the past three years either pregnant, or being pumped full of hormones for IVF, and has produced four children – so I probably should cut it some slack!

In the end I compromised and included a head shot in my photo, and with the magic of filters, I was pretty happy with how the shot turned out.

So I’m putting it out there – what strategies/tips do you have to help improve self confidence?

mirror

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

28 thoughts on “Self Confidence

  1. I go up and down with confidence, I am strong in some areas, but need a boost in others. My kinesiologist actually gave me drops for confidence for a while (they are essences you put under your tongue). And I am with you on enjoying exercise but lacking the motivation and urge to consistently make it happen. Deb xx

    • I also go up and down with my confidence, especially in different areas. Do you find the drops help? I used to have acupuncture which helped me to relax, and also had a positive influence on my self confidence.
      Thanks for sharing x

  2. I hear you Lauren. I’m feeling the same at the moment. Second guessing so much in my life and if I’m worth it or able to keep on doing it all. Those tips sound good and I’m going to try them. Hopefully they will give me the much needed pick up I need.

  3. Lauren you are looking fabulous, you do need to give yourself a break! I really admire how you can bake so many delicious morsels and have such strong self control not to eat the entire spread (I know I would, hence why I have restricted my baking as it removes the temptation!).

    It’s such a girl thing, but I find if I wear shoes with heels I feel much better about myself… Even if its just to do kindy drop off. 🙂 I love your tips and am sitting up straight and tall now!

    • You are just too lovely.. Sometimes my self control is lacking!!
      You are so right about wearing heels, and I even find wearing something ‘nice’ makes me feel good too, even if I am just hanging out at home. This all makes me think we should organise a girls night out soon!

  4. I wonder if any of us will ever really love our own skins, I have my moments, but for the sake of my children, especially my daughter I try and appear to have lots of self confidence and ban talk of ugly, fat, overweight, etc from my mouth. Ya for getting a hair cut that always helps me, I could do with one, might help me right now, could do with a boost MA SELF! xxx

  5. Even after losing 12kgs I still don’t feel entirely happy in my skin, and that makes me sad! It’s always because I’m comparing myself to others, which is never a good idea! I find a trip to my hairdresser and a new outfit can make me feel much better about myself, and so does a really good hard workout. x

    • Well done on losing 12kg, that is fantastic! It is sad how we do compare ourselves with others. As crazy as it is, I do compare myself to the ‘celebs’ who had a bub when I did… even though I know they have a lot of help (and are probably photoshopped too!), it’s hard when it’s in your face all of the time. I love the idea of a new outfit, will be adding that to my list! xx

  6. Coming into summer, things seem to be more imperfect in the brightness – its always a time that I look at my hibernating body and think that something has to change! This year is the first time in ages I am actually doing something about it and eating clean and exercising is making the world of difference to how I perceive myself. Great tips!!

    Hello from #teamIBOT

    • You sound like you are really motivated – can you please pass some on to me?!?! You are right though, when we actually do something about it, it makes you feel a lot better x

  7. Coming into summer is always such a crap time as I look at myself in the bright bright light and out from under the baggy, winter layers. Fortunately this is the first year I actually am doing something about it and eating clean and exercising is making me feel so much better about myself. Great tips!

    Hello from #teamIBOT

  8. As I read the ‘sit up straight’ part, I realised I was slouching really badly! My hair could definitely do with a colour and my legs could definitely do with a walk too. I think the only one I could really tick off the list is coffee – I rarely neglect that one! I feel the same as you do in the confidence department. I really do not like photos of myself. I know my blog would probably be more interesting if I put more photos up with me in them, but don’t do it very often. I know I shouldn’t care what people think of how I look, but I really don’t like my skin and sometimes it looks worse in photos than I had though it did in real life – or maybe I’m just delusional?! In general, I feel better about myself when I’ve been eating healthily, sleeping enough and not comparing myself too much to other women 🙂

    • Just reading your comment & the mention of sitting up straight was enough to get me to sit up straighter! You are certainly not delusional, I often feel the same way too. I have been trying to make more of an effort and take more photos of me with my boys, as I found they were few and far between. A good night’s sleep can always make me feel better too!
      x

  9. Hi Lauren, you are one gorgeous chicky!! I definitely think ‘unfairingly’ should be a word! I think we all feel ordinary about ourselves at times. I like to get out for a walk to clear my head and I’m trying to stand up taller too! 🙂

    • Thanks, you are too nice! Walking is a great way to clear your mind. I love going out for a walk early in the morning before anyone else is up – just don’t get a chance to do it much these days (although I’m certainly not complaining!) xx

  10. I two was due around the same time as you I think and am going through the same body anxieties. It’s such an interesting relationship we have with our bodies. I admire mine so much for what’s it’s done and given me and yet I still want it to be looking it’s best (and do very little work for it). I need to get to the gym. I am having trouble making the time. It’s on a list to do.

    PS – I like your selfie! 🙂

    • Yes, I think our little bubs are around the same age! It is amazing what our bodies have done by growing and nurturing our beautiful babies. I think we have a tendency to perhaps expect a little too much? Exercise is always on my to do list… hoping to tick it off early this morning – depending on what mood my toddler is in this morning! Thanks for the compliment, you’ve got to love filters! I hope you have a lovely day x

  11. Hi Lauren, you do such a great job at everything you turn your hand too. You are a great person and should be brimming with confidence. I on the other hand don’t have any!! It is my own fault though. I do like to sit up straight and I just love my coffee but don’t seem to have the time or motivation to get out and exercise. Maybe I could be hypnertised???? I used to love walking but seem to spend so much time working – 7 days a week these says – I just crash when I get home. Hate the way I look but it is all my doing. One day maybe… And maybe I will grow some self confidence!!! Great reading your blog and just love tasting your cooking. Maybe I should leave the tasting to others??? Good luck with everything and you are looking great!!

    • Thank you Janet for your lovely words. You are such a beautiful and kind hearted person (which you would need to be having to put up with Scott at work all day!)… I certainly know the feeling about crashing at the end of the day. I find myself more motivated in the mornings, it’s just that the boys don’t always feel the same!! Maybe a few of you at work could go walking during lunchtime or at the end of the day?
      I will try and make some more healthy treats to send in for you guys! Take care & look forward to seeing you soon x

  12. Pingback: Stepping out from behind the camera | createbakemake

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